Stir It Up, Stir up the Gift In Me

 Have you ever made a pitcher of sweet tea and the sugar wasn't all mixed in? Instead you can see it is still settled at the bottom. Or had a cup of coffee and all the sugar & flavor is still sitting at the bottom of the cup when you take that first sip? Ugh! It is not anything like what you were expecting to taste. 

(Picture from Google.com)

I was talking with someone the other day and they had made their cup of coffee in the morning and left the spoon in the kitchen, but didn't take the first sip until sitting at their desk and in doing so, realized that they had forgotten to stir it. Then they mentioned the verse "Stir up the gift"... well, I keep thinking about that, and it's been a couple of days now.

Here's the verse:

2 Timothy 1: 6 "Therefore I remind you to stir up the gift of God which is in you through the laying on of my hands." (NKJV)

In the NLT it says it this way, "This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you."

In the Strong's it is a combination of two words that mean "to re-enkindle; stir up", and it speaks of it like stirring a fire. 

We have a fire place and we have had a wood stove, and I have occasionally added wood to the fire to keep it going, and you see the embers can end up not close to each other, so I would "stir" them, with the tool to get them closer together before adding more wood, and they would put out more heat when close together and cause the new piece(s) of wood to catch the fire adding more warmth/heat. 

This is a good picture of what happens from being a part of a local church. You get together with your church family and together there is a warmth. Together those that may be burning hotter and help the "heat" in others to increase, and we can encourage the "new wood" to burn, too. So, in being with others, if I am stuck, or sick, or discouraged, I can find hope, encouragement, and others can pray for me.

However, I keep thinking about the verse, and the conversation...

Me, being me, I think of preparing a meal, including the beverages.

As I asked in my opening of this- in making sweet tea, I have had the water cool off too much to dissolve the sugar, so even with a lot of stirring it didn't mix in like it does when it's still warm. What happens if I don't get it all mixed? The sweetness is all at the bottom of the pitcher. I've been drinking a lot of water lately, with the sugar-free "flavor" (basically kool aid) in it. If I don't get that all mixed up well, I can end up with a mouth full of the kool aid, and that is not an enjoyable experience, either. Then in meal preparation, or baking. You rarely dump everything in and serve it- even a good salad needs to be tossed, right? And sometimes, the stirring needs to continue to happen, because the items that I am working to incorporate into the whole continue to sink to the bottom of the cup or bowl.

Stirring is to cause an especially light movement, or change of position; to disturb the quiet of, to agitate, to disturb the relative position of the particles or parts of, especially by a continued circular movement; to bring into notice or debate; to rouse to activity, to call forth, to begin to be active.  (Taken from https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/stir )

"Stir up the gift of God"... stir it up... 

I don't want the gift(s) He's given me, He's put inside of me, to sit at the bottom to be dormant.

I don't want them sitting at the bottom, not adding flavor, or spice, to my life and how I am able to flavor where I go and people I interact with. 

How do I stir up the gifts that are in me? I know that I am not aware of all the gifts He has given me, butI do know some of them. 

How do I stir then up, though?

In drinks I use a spoon. 

When I make a nice add-in for my protein coffee, I use a tool to froth the milk, before I add it. 

When baking, I usually use an electric mixer. 

There are different tools for stirring. Each is used to achieve a different type of texture and result.

In mixing sweetener into a beverage ordered at a restaurant, or the flavoring into my glass of water at home, I use a spoon or my straw to stir it in... the ice in the beverage helps agitate the particles and mix them in, and sometimes it mixes better than others, so I may have to continue to stir as I drink it, because the flavor is better when it is all mixed together.

(Picture taken thekitchenstore.com)

Then I have recently learned how much fun it is to use the tool to froth milk. It is a little tool with a spring on the end of the "beater", that is formed into a tight circle. I love how I can have a very little bit of milk in the cup, and it whips it up to at least twice as much, by aerating it. The tool agitates the liquid and adds air, causing the volume of the liquid to increase. It is fun to watch the milk grow from just using that one tool. Then when I pour the frothed milk in the cup that has the coffee in it, it floats on top of the beverage, because of the air added, and the consistency is much lighter than it was as milk.  

(Picture from Dreamstime.com)

Then another wonderful tool is my electric mixer. When using this, I put the ingredients into the bowl in a certain order mixing them together in a certain order, for a desired outcome. That order is often important when it comes to achieving the desired results. It all gets put into the bowl as separate ingredients, but all mixed together they make the batter, or dough. As long as the recipe is followed, the science of it all works and it turns into the cookies, cake, bread... whatever it is I have put the correct ingredients together to create. 

(Photo from KitchenAid.com)

I want to use the tools He has provided, to stir up the gifts that the Lord has placed in me. 

I want to use the  promises to remind me. 

I will remind myself of His faithfulness- to stir up my faith. 

I will read, and study the Bible to learn about Him and about the gifts He gives and how they can minister to those around me (including speaking to me/to encourage myself). 

I will take steps of faith to share what He shows me, or brings to my heart/mind. 

These are "steps" that exercise the "muscle" of faith. 

Samson's story has come to mind, and in looking at it, this verse stood out.

Judges 13: 25, "And the Spirit of the Lord began to stir him while he lived in Mahaneh-dan, which is located  between the towns of Zorah and Eshtaol." (NLT)

Sometimes I do the stirring, and other times, He initiates the stirring. I want to be in tune, and aware of His stirring. That is a way of His preparing and His communicating. Like his stirring the conversation that started the process of writing these thoughts down, and helping me to find the trail He wanted me to take. Help me to hear His voice, His stirring- like His child would. (John 8:47a; John 10: 5 & 27)

1 John 3: 1 says, "Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God."

I have worked with children a lot. I am a mother, and a grandmother, and I did in-home day care, and helped my mother do the same. One thing that is common across the board, children learn every day. When they are born, everything is brand new. The baby basically knows how to eat and sleep, and gratefully the Lord helps their lungs to breathe, and their heart to beat... But they are not born knowing what they will be when they are an adult. Babies do not know where their hands and feet, fingers and toes are. Their muscles aren't strong enough to hold up their head. They are not aware of how the mechanics of their arms and legs work to help them roll over, sit up, crawl, and walk- right? These are all things that we have each learned as we have grown. Babies start out on milk to get the nutrition needed to grow, and as they grow they learn the things, and their food/nutrition needs change.

Hebrews 5: 13-14 says, "For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn't know how to do what is right. Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong." (NLT)

The New King James Version says it like this, "For everyone who partakes only of milk is unskilled in the word of righteousness, for he is a babe. But solid food belongs to those who are of full age, that is, those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil."

As I grow in my walk, and relationship, with the Lord, I learn more each day. As I grow, I learn what He has given me, and I learn to use it. I learn how to talk, how to walk, and how to use all He put inside of me. I learn the tools He has made available to help me to strengthen those gifts and talents. 

The learning process is clumsy, clunky, and messy. As babies learn to move, it is not something that they get instantly right. As toddlers learn to walk, they occasionally trip and/or fall. It is from learning the mechanics, strengthening of the muscles, and learning balance- right? 

It is the same in learning to walk in the spirit. I have to learn the mechanics- learn not only to pray, but also to listen. I also need to learn to use the muscles (gifts and talents), which means I need to use them, and I need to learn the balance in the use of them- balanced on His scale. In using the talents and gifts- it acts like the spoon and it stirs things up to keep them all mixed up together. 

Learning to listen for what the Lord is highlighting in EVERY thing. In simple conversations, while chatting with someone at the grocery store, while watching a movie, as well as while reading the Bible and while sitting at church to hear what the pastor is sharing.

In my walk, in my learning, I want to keep using what I've learned and like with weight training, have the "muscle" grow and be stronger. "By reason of use..." Stirring up the gifts is using them and showing appreciation to the One who gave it.

In my walk, I want to show appreciation for the gift(s) I have received. How do I do that? I put them out on display and/or I use them.

The song by Brandon Lake, Gratitude, has a part that speaks to stirring the gift and using it.

It says: 

"So come on my soul, 

Oh don't you get shy on me

Lift up your song

'Cause you've got a lion inside of your lungs

Get up and praise the Lord"

I want to use my voice, use my keyboard, use all that He has put in me which is the way to stir it up. Stir up the song, stir up the books, stir up the gifting and use it! He has people that need to hear and be blessed and encouraged through the gift in you and in me! 

Father, forgive me for allowing the gifts and talents You have put in me, to lay dormant and settled, getting  stuck under the flow of the daily activities in life. The gifts and talents were given to me to be used for Your glory and honor among those You have put in my life, and when I don't use them, I am not doing all I can to lift You and Your name up. Help me! Father, I want to keep those gifts and talents stirred up, aerated, and blended thoroughly into my daily life, so that it becomes a natural part of the day. I want to clearly hear and see what You are highlighting to me and speak it or share it as You would have me to do. Help me to set any pride aside, knowing that in learning mistakes happen, and to keep on going. Help me to remember I am the vessel that You have filled, and it is the overflow to others that You want to use, as the stirring it up, causes the sloshing and spilling over to those around me. Stir my up, fill me to over flow and use me to bless others as You see fit. Thank you, Father!! Amen.

Thoughts On Waiting- Not Liked, But Necessary and Good

Wait a minute...

You'll have to wait...

It won't happen overnight, but it will happen...

You just need to be patient...

These are all statements that I have used in life, and I know are very true, but when I am the one that has to wait, or work through a situation, or keep walking and not seeing results, it can get frustrating. I actually consider myself to be a fairly patient person, too... however, there are things in my life where the waiting is, and was, not as easy as it was when I first started waiting... LOL

(Pic from Google search)

I have some prayers I have been and still am praying to see answered that have been part of my prayer life for years. I have situations that I want to see breakthrough in, and I am doing all I know to do to get the breakthrough- including praying- and I am still waiting to see the breakthrough. And I know that I am not alone in the waiting process. I am not the only one that has ever prayed for something for years, or worked towards something for days, weeks, months, or even years. Sometimes it feels like things move as slow as the sand falling through an hour glass, right?!?! 

Then, I think about Noah. He has worked and worked with his family to build an huge boat like the Lord asked him to do. The animals come and the family has loaded it with the supplies and they all go in it, the Lord closes the door and they wait. First off, Noah is 600 years old when he and his family go into the ark. But Genesis 7: 10 tells us that seven days after they entered the ark, it started raining... then, it rained for 40 days and nights! I can't imagine that, can you? I do like it when it rains, but 40 days and nights, is a long time. He and his family waited, for the rain to come. They waited for the rain to stop. Then they had to wait for the waters to recede, so they could leave the ark. During the time they were waiting what were they doing? Well, I am sure they were tending to the animals, and doing life on a very unique house boat/ship. Can you imagine how ready they felt to get off that boat, and yet unsure of what it would beg like when they did? EVERYTHING would be different. None of their friends and neighbors would be there anymore. Their neighborhood, their home (tent or dwelling) was gone, the familiar terrain would be different from the sheer force of the flood waters. They waited about a year to be able to exit the boat. Then they were starting things on earth all over again. In the waiting, God was working.

What about Hannah? The story is in 1 Samuel 1. Elkanah had two wives, Peninnah and Hannah. Peninnah had sons and daughters, and Hannah didn't have any... yet. She was the brunt of Peninnah's jokes and hurtful words, but Elkanah loved Hannah. Hannah's cry was to have a child. They would go to the tabernacle to sacrifice and worship, and Elkanah would give her a double portion. While I am sure she appreciated that, it didn't satisfy the deep longing. The hurt drove Hannah to pray... the deep ache in her cried out to the depth of God for an answer. She was desperate for an answer. 

(Image from GoodSalt.com)

She waited, she prayed in the waiting, and it pressed her to promise that if the Lord would give her a child, she would give it back to Him all the days of his life. (1 Samuel 1:11) I recently heard a pastor that said Hannah wanted a child, He wanted a prophet, or something like that. After Hannah's waiting. After she had Samuel and gave him back to the Lord, as she promised; she had three more sons and two daughters (1 Samuel 2: 21) In the waiting, in the breakthrough, there is growth and fruit.

David...

He was a youngster when Samuel came to his father's house to anoint the next king of Israel. He was the youngest of 8 and they didn't even call David to come when they knew the prophet was coming. David was a young man when this happened, not even 20 years old. He was anointed when Saul was still king, and had sons that would (under normal circumstances) be next in line to be king. So, this had to be kept quiet and David and his family had to wait to see how and when it would happen. 

(Photo from Alamy.com)

In the waiting, David takes supplies to his brothers that were with the army. He hears Goliath and proceeds to be the one that takes that giant down, giving victory over the Philistines. He also ministers to Saul, by playing his hard- because Saul was tormented by an evil spirit. David becomes a soldier and fulfills by double what is required for the dowry for Saul's daughter as his wife. Then he has to live on the run and in hiding from Saul to avoid being killed. In all this, he is waiting... and in the waiting, there is worship.

In the waiting, there is learning.

In the waiting, love is growing.

What am I waiting for, you may ask. 

    I am waiting for loved ones to come to Him.

    I am waiting to see loved ones healed by Him.

    I am waiting to see promises He's given to come true.

I am reminded of the song "Do It Again" by Elevation Worship. 

It says this:

"Walking around these walls

I thought by now they'd fall

But You have never failed me yet

Waiting for change to come

Knowing the battle's won

For you have never failed me yet

Your promise still stands

Great is your faithfulness, faithfulness

I'm still in your hands

This is my confidence

You've never failed me yet"

So, while I have promises, and while I have unanswered prayer requests, in the waiting... 

- I will NOT doubt 

- I will continue to pray & listen

- I will worship

- I will expect His promises to come

- I will remember His faithfulness (what he's done before He will do again)

Numbers 23:19 "God is not a man, so he does not lie. He is not human, so he does not change his mind. Has he ever spoken and failed to act? Has he ever promised and not carried it through?" (NLT)

I am reminded of the disciples as they waited as instructed for the promise Jesus gave. They were in an upper room, praying... waiting... and when the promise came, it came with a wind (refreshing), it came with fire (power) and it took them from where they were into the street so that others were ministered to... The answer brought more than they expected. I have heard some say that the "sound of the mighty rushing wind" was not just a sound, but that it actually rumbled. It was earth shaking. 

In the waiting, I need to remember that just because I can't see it, doesn't mean that He isn't moving. 

In the waiting, I need to remember that just because I don't feel anything, doesn't mean that things are not happening. 

I am learning to trust, more deeply. 

I am learning to abide more closely.

I am learning to listen.

I am learning to rest in the truth of what He said.

In the waiting I may feel discouraged, but that is not abnormal. In the Psalm 42: 5 AND 11, it says the same thing two times. The psalmist says, "Why am I discouraged? Why is my heart so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again, my Savior and my God!" (NLT) 

SO, in the waiting, when frustration and discouragement comes, I need to remind myself of the times God has answered my prayers. I need to remind myself of what He has done before, because He is the same, yesterday, today, and forever. 

I will shake off the discouragement. 

I will shake off the frustration. 

I will speak truth and faith, and worship as I wait.

Father, thank you! Thank you for the promises I have received. Thank you for the promises I am waiting to see fulfilled. Thank you for all I am learning, and hearing, and seeing in the waiting. Forgive my impatience and my complaining, and help me to remember that You only want the best for me- that includes the timing on answers and fulfillment of promises.

I worship You and trust Your timing in fulfilling all that I am waiting to see come to pass. Help me to be content as I wait. Thank you for your help and Your promises yet to come. Thank you for the reminded that Faithful is not only your track record, it is WHO you ARE. In Your love and faithfulness I can know beyond any shadow of a doubt that You WILL keep the promises You have made.

Do I Know Who I Am Called To Be?

 As I sit here watching a movie, the theme of this kind of ties in with the message Evans shared in church this morning and it's been ruminating/marinating in me for some time now. 

The movie is about a farmer that just wants to live his life with his son and his wife, farming his land and enjoying the peace; but while he's stubbornly doing that, darkness is brewing and the enemy is using all kinds of evil to wreck havoc on the kingdom. The enemy's soldiers end up killing Farmer's son, and his mother-in-law & father-in-law, among all the citizens that they obliterate. There are some that they take captive, to be slaves in their tunnels. The King thinks that his only heir is his simply, spoiled nephew that is power hungry, and had made a deal with the devil (for lack of better terminology) to overpower his uncle and get the throne. During the movie farmer learns his true identity, and the authority that comes with it. Once he accepts the truth, he then has a clearer sense of purpose and direction. The battle that ensues is, or course, focused on the defeat of farmer, and the rise to power of the enemy. 

(Image from Dreamtime.com)

Then this morning, Evans was reminding us of the truth in our nation's history and how they relied on the Lord for the freedom that they were in search of in this land that they were working with such dedication to create a new nation. Those that worked together to start the government for our nation to work and to endure knew that it would only work, and it would only last if the Lord was honored and kept as part of it. 

A verse that was shared often during the time in America that lead up to the drafting the Declaration of Independence and the Revolutionary War was Galatians 5: 1 - "Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free, and do not be entangled again with a yoke of bondage." (NKJV) Or the NLT says it like this, "So Christ has truly set us free. No make sure that you stay free, and don't get tied up again in slavery to the law."

      (Photo from Vecteezy.com)

As I was watching the movie, I saw that as Farmer realized who he was, he walked in more freedom. It brought strength. 

This started me thinking... 

How often did I, or do I, miss out on victories in daily life, because I am not walking in my true identity? 

    More often that I care to admit, BUT He is helping me to do better.

How often do I ask amiss? 

    Often, but not as often. I am learning better how to pray effectively.

How much do I still walk bound because I do not understand all the freedom that He wants me to enjoy?

    I still do not fully understand the freedom He wants me to enjoy, but I definitely walk more freely than I used to.

In realizing that I am his daughter and that is a relationship that is special. Have you ever watched a father love on, and care for his daughter? The bond is a special one. If someone treats the daughter unjustly, watch out! Daddy is going to do all he can to make it right. The father provides for, cares for, and protects the daughter- while teaching, guiding, and caring for her. 

Not only am I His daughter, but I am fully loved by the best Father of all. Knowing that He loves me brings a confidence that nothing else can bring. I used to be very concerned about what others thought about how I look, how I acted, how I sounded; and I would use that as a measure of His acceptance and love- not realizing that would give me way more disappointment that affirmation. 

It is a common thing for people (at least I know I did it often) to compare themself to others. Comparison does one of two things to the person comparing. It either builds me up thinking I am better than the one I am comparing myself to OR it tears me down thinking I am beneath, or of lesser value, than the one I am comparing myself to. 

This passage in 2 Corinthians 10:12 says this, "Oh, don't worry; we wouldn't dare say that we are as wonderful as these other men who tell you how important they are! But they are only comparing themselves with each other, using themselves as the standard of measurement. How ignorant!" (NLT)

I am unique. I am His daughter. I am meant to walk in freedom, which comes as I walk in the way He has planned for me. He is the example that I am meant to follow, and He loves me with an everlasting love. He is always cheering me on to deeper and better things, and he wants me to be secure and free enough that I share my story/testimony as He leads me- to encourage others.

(Photo from Vecteezy.com)

Father, thank you for your love for me. Thank you that You made the way for me to be Your daughter, and to learn that You love me and care for me. Thank you for caring, for providing my needs (not just money, but health, strength, clean mind, and so much more). You are a good Father, and You are my King. Help me to continue to grow and mature in my walk with you. Help me to share and encourage others through my day and to walk in the identity and authority and freedom you have given for me to enjoy. Amen!

Do I have blockages or leaks in my heart?

There have been many thoughts swirling through my heart and mind the last few days, and it is possible that they all flow together. Writing occasionally helps to see the trail between them, so here goes. 

It started when my husband opened the back of our house to find and repair the leaking drain pipe. The thought was he would open the wall, find the leak, replace the plumbing and put it back together. Upon opening it, he learned that the pipe had been punctured by a nail and it had leaked causing the wood to rot. I felt something stirring on this. This is the picture that was taken of the damage that was beneath the surface.

While this was being opened up, our church's plumbing was backing up. Having cleaned out and repaired all we knew to do did not fix it, so we had to call a plumber. He found a couple of things that were causing issues, repaired them, and left. That night there were still problems so we needed him to come back to finish the job. 

One system had leaks, and the other had blockages- both if left alone would have caused terrible damage to the perspective building. 

The leaky pipe that caused rot is like a heart that has been hurt from words that have been said, or even thought about a person. Words that were filled with lies, or hate, and they pierced them. If that hurt is left alone, it can "leak" and cause "rot" in my heart. Holding onto that hurt simply hurts me, not the one that did the hurting. 

Bitterness can be described, or defined, as unresolved anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly.

Matthew 6: 14-15 says this- "If you forgive those who sin against you, your Heavenly Father will forgive you. But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins." (NLT)

The Message translation says it this way, "In prayer there is a connection between what God does and what you do. You can't get forgiveness from God, for instance, without also forgiving others. If you refuse to do your part, you cut yourself off from God's part."

Picture what had that pierced the pipe as the sharp words, or hurtful actions. If it is left open and raw without being cleaned and covered then dirt and germs can get in the wound causing infection. In the same way, if that hurt is not forgiven, the sting of that turns into unforgiveness, or bitterness. 

Ephesians 4: 31-32 says this, "Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ, God forgave you." (NIV) 

“Get rid of ALL bitterness…” I don’t want to hold onto hurt, I want to clean the wound, if you will. I know my tendency is to cover and hide the hurt, going on like nothing is wrong until it has festered and become more painful than it needed to be. It is a habit I need to break, with His help.

Then Hebrews 12: 15 says, "Look after each other so that none of you fails to receive the grace of God. Watch out that no poisonous root of bitterness grows up to trouble you, corrupting many." (NLT)

This simply brings home that bitterness can be some like a poison to my life. 

The question could be asked then, how do I get rid of bitterness? How do I resolve that anger?

It takes God to get through it all. He will help forgive those that haven't asked for it. He will take the sting out of what hurt. He may show me that the person didn't mean it that way, or realize that what was said was hurtful. 

    He is my peace- even through the hurtful things.

    He will help me to see that I am His masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10- NLT)

He will help me to see myself through His eyes.

He helps...period!

The second problem was the pipes that were found to have blockages. These blockages had probably been building over the years, and then some of the pipes had not been used as much for a while. When the use went up again, it wouldn't flow as well because of what was in the pipes. 

                                                                 (Image captured from Blocked pipe hi-res stock photography and images - Alamy)

Occasionally, there are parts of our life that may potentially be like blockages in our life. It could be anything from a family habit, to a stronghold (from habitual reactions to circumstances that have been painful, for self protection), to incorrect thought processes. Watchman Nee said that hurts, and attacks if not opposed right away, they can cause us not to be able to maintain our ground. 

Just the word "blockage" and the symptoms of the plumbing system makes me think of constipation. It is not a pleasant experience, for anyone. It brings discomfort, aches, and it makes it difficult to think of much else. When trying to "fix" this situation, we take the steps we know to take, and we ask the Lord for help, for breakthrough. Often, adding more water will at least help. (Water of the Word, right?) Sometimes, adding a little more oil/fat to our diet can help, too. (Oil resembles the Holy Spirit). It is amazing how weak you feel with that blockage there, knowing that without relief it could be very detrimental. 

I see the similarities in the situations. I see how important it is to make sure not to have any "leaks" or any "blockages.  I don't want to have the stronghold that comes from my reaction to what has happened, or what I've felt. I want Him to be my stronghold, my protector, my fortress in times of trouble. 

Lord, help me. Help me not to have leaks or blockages in my heart. Help me not to succumb to hurts, and the fiery darts that are thrown at me. Help me to listen closely to you, to know when the hurts first happen, so I can oppose them, and maintain the ground that You have already helped me to gain. Help me not to let the poison of bitterness work rot in my heart. Help me to allow Your love and forgiveness to flow freely in my heart to those that have hurt me, even when it is that I have hurt myself. 

Thank you for your love.

Do You KNOW??

Do you KNOW who you are? Do you KNOW whose you are?? 

I mean really know it, deep down, in your heart.

It is one thing to know who my mom is and who my dad is; but to know that I am Mary Beth, I am a wife, I am a mother, I am a Nana. (Not what I do- but WHO I AM.)

But the question goes deeper than my parents, and this earthly life and identity. 

This is a path that I have been studying and following for quite a few years, now; and it is time for another look at it.

The path started when I was struggling with who I thought I was and has moved to a better, more solid knowledge of that which has brought me to a place where I am less bothered with what others may say or think about me. But it is a journey, and I am still, occasionally, knocked off balance. 

I don't know about you, but often I need to hear things over and over and over again for me to remember them.

I have had a couple of months of struggling again- not that I didn't know I am loved, and that I am His daughter, but other thoughts were causing shadows, and some doubt was creeping into my thoughts. Plus, I had allowed other things to become my focus, for too long. 

Then a couple of nights, last week, I wasn't sleeping well; but as I would wake up to the same song and pretty much the same lines of that song. The first day I woke up to it, I took metal note, and played it a few times to listed to the words. That evening, I received an email that was sent to be encouraging, and the message was along the same theme. The very next morning, I woke up to the exact same song- same basic part of the song, so I knew there was something that I needed to hear - even if it is something I've heard, I needed it afresh.

The song I was hearing is Adoption Song. It is on Brandon Lake's album Coat of Many Colors. 

The part I was hearing says this:

"I renounce the lie that I don't measure up

I renounce the lie I'm unworthy of Your love

And when shame comes knocking and fear starts talking

I will lift my hands

In Your presence, You remind me who I am

I am adopted

I am beloved

It's my inheritance

I'm a child of God

So when the liar

Starts mouthing off

I'll sing in confidence

My adoption song"

The first lines (in bold) remind me that sometimes I need to speak to myself, and I need to speak to the enemy to "renounce" the lies, and those attempts to take my focus from the Lord. 

The first Biblical example that I thought of with this, is David, in the book of Psalms 42. In verses 9 and 10 he is struggling and verse 11, it is like he is shaking himself. Here is the passage.

Psalm 42: 9-11 - "I will say to God my Rock, "Why have You forgotten me? Why do I go mourning because of the oppression of the enemy?" As with a breaking of my bones, my enemies reproach me, while they say to me all day long, "Where is Your God?" Why are you cast down, O my soul? And why are you disquieted within me? Hope in God; for I shall yet praise Him, the help of my countenance and my God." (NKJV)

The last verse in the Passion Translation says it this way, "So I say to my soul, "Don't be discouraged. Don't be discouraged. Don't be disturbed. For I know my God will breakthrough for me." Then I'll have plenty of reasons to praise him all over again. Yes, he is my saving grace!"

But then the Message translation says it like this, "Why are you down in the dumps, dear soul? Why are you crying the blues? Fix my eyes on God - soon I'll be praising again. He puts a smile on my face. He's my God." 

Proverbs 4:23 tells me this: "Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life." (NKJV)

The Message says it this way, "Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts."

When I notice the thoughts that do not line up with what God says about me, do I let them take root? 

Do I renounce them? 

Do I speak to myself, to encourage myself, and remind myself what God says about me?

Do I know what He says about me? 

Ephesians 2: 10 says, "For we are God's masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago." (NLT)

Psalm 139: 13-14 "You formed my innermost being, shaping my delicate inside and my intricate outside, and wove them all together in my mother's womb. I thank you, God, for making me so mysteriously complex! Everything you do is marvelously breathtaking. It simply amazes me to think about it! How thoroughly you know me, Lord!" (TPT) 

In the NKJV- "For you formed my inward parts: You covered me in my mother's womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my should knows very well."

Ephesians 1: 4 "Even before he made the world, God loves us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes." (NLT)

I am loved, by the One who laid down His life for me. I am the daughter of the King of kings! 

He chose me before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless. (Ephesians 1:4)

Knowing who I am, and whose I am, brings a solid foundation and a surety into all I do. 

Have you ever watched a show, or movie, where someone has amnesia? That person doesn't know who they are, what they like or don't like, what their normal day is like... they can't remember. 

That person walks and talks so much more timidly, and almost fearfully.

But, in walking out each day knowing that I am loved. I am chosen. I was created on purpose with a purpose. All of these and so much more that God says about me. 

Each fact solidifies in my heart that I am known, I am loved, I am not just here to live and eventually die.

Yes, I am human, and I have made mistakes. 

I am human, and I have sinned.

BUT GOD in His love knew that I would. He knew that I would need a Savior and He provided that for me!  Thank you, Jesus!

He did that for me, but He did it for each person, as if we were the only person. His love is so deep for me (and you)! 

He created me with a purpose. Is that purpose to DO something. Well, yes and no. 

Revelation 4: 11 says, "Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created."

He created us FOR HIS PLEASURE.

He knows all that he put in me, both biologically and characteristically. He knows the talents He's given me, and the experiences I've had that have helped make me what/who I am right now, as I write this.

He has a plan for me, and He has seen what I need, when I'll need it before it ever is a need; and He is working everything for my good. (Romans 8: 28 "So we are convinced that every detail of our lives is continually woven together for good, for we are His lovers who have been called to fulfill His designed purpose.(TPT)")

That says EVERY DETAIL. I know it may not seem like some details will work for good; but God is able to take even what looks terrible to us and turn it around. He is Almighty God. There is nothing impossible for him. (Luke 1: 37 - "For with God nothing will be impossible."-NKJV)

I feel like I am at that awkward young person stage- where I know what I can do, and I know what I should do, but I still am unsure that I am prepared to do it, so God is reminding me of it.

(Pic from "Freepik)

YES- I am loved!

YES- I am chosen!

YES- I am called!

YES- I am His daughter! 

YES- I will make a difference, it may not be nationwide, it may not be city wide, but it will impact those it is meant to impact.

YES- I have a purpose!

YES- I measure up to His design for my life!

YES- I am worthy of Your love!

Father, I thank you for your love for me! I ask for your forgiveness for allowing things to take my focus off of you and what you have for me to do. Help me to walk in the knowledge of who You are and who You called me to be- with the confidence in Your love and the calling and purpose You have for my life. Help me to impact others for You and for Your kingdom, Lord. Help me to remember who I am, and to remember whose I am, too. Thank you!

Does He Hear Faith From Me?

 While driving to an appointment today, the song Awake My Soul sung by Hillsong Worship came next on my playlist shuffle. I heard two lines, like they were sung with the microphone on, much louder than the other lines.

"Where we hear praises, He hears faith... and "Where we hear worship, He hears faith."

I know there are lines in between them, but these were the two lines that stood out. 

It really hit me.

It could have been from being a little out of sorts from hearing the news earlier today that a young man that we have known at church for about 7-8 years, at the ripe old age of 17 1/2, had a heart attack while playing football, and passed away. But, I believe it is a much needed reminder, at least for me.

I am aware of the scripture that says, "...that men always ought to pray and not lose heart." (Luke 18: 1b)

So, I have a list of people, and concerns and situations that I pray for often; like most people do, right?

Mark 11: 24 tell me, "Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them." (NKJV)

Or the Passion Translation says it this way, "This is the reason I urge you to boldly believe for whatever you ask for in prayer - be convinced that you have received it and it will be yours."

Am I praying with that attitude? Do I pray boldly believing? 

It can be overwhelming when I pray and the answer doesn't come how, or when, I thought it would. 

In praying for loved ones that are sick- do I boldly believe?

In praying for those in need- do I boldly believe?

Do I have faith, believing that what I ask for will come to pass?

I am reminded of reading a book years ago, written by Merlin Carothers, called Power in Praise. The basic message was not only do we take our requests to the Lord in prayer- but thanksgiving should be part of the prayer.

Psalm 100:4 says, "Enter into His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise. Be thankful unto Him, and bless His name." (NKJV) or in the Message it says it this way, "Enter with the password: "Thank you!" Make yourselves at home, talking praise. Thank him. Worship him."

Sometimes, the way the Message says it, hits me between the eyes. He says that "Thank you!" is the password. The posture of gratitude. 

Do I boldly believe and make sure to speak from a grateful heart?

When I heard the lyrics of the song today, it seemed that my mind went through many of the prayers that I pray often and have for a while. Prayers for family, for friends, and many other things... and I just started praising God. 

Lord, thank you! Thank you for who You are. Thank you for your love, for provision, Your blessings, Your strength. Thank you for this reminder to keep the heart posture of gratitude in all things. Help me to remember gratitude to enter Your presence. Thank you, so much!

He makes all things new!

 When you wake up in the morning, on New Year's Day hearing the words "Hallelujah, Hallelujah! He makes all things new, all things new!" with a melody playing... what do you do? 

Me? I search for it, thinking it is a current song that I've heard somewhere; but NOTHING comes up. 

So, I sit and wait for anything to come that would go along with it. So, this may ramble a bit; but this is the process to see where it goes. So please bear with me through this one.

I keep hearing the tune, and words rolling over and over in my heart and in my head... like a song on "repeat". 

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah! 

He makes all things new, all things new!"

As I hear them, and ponder just this part, I am overcome with awe and gratitude! 

I mean, I was  born with all the needed parts of who I was meant to be, because my Father and Creator knows exactly what I need to be part of me to do all I was created to fulfill. Somethings I will gain through learning and through life experience but in my DNA and in my person the natural parts are there.  

Walking through the ups and the downs of the journey of life, I am molded and shaped even more. Lessons learned through hurts and through celebrations. Examples in life that we follow and learn from, and have to learn again if the example may have been incorrect. Remember that God knew who my parents would be, he picked them! Remember that God knew every moment of my life, the choices I'd make and the circumstances that would come from those choices. 

Remember that God knows!

Last night, my husband and I actually stayed awake until after midnight! Who would have guessed?!?! It's the first time we've done that for quite a few years. =) We listened to some ministry, and then we worshipped as the old year passed and the new one started. 

We have had a full year of new... 

Evans in school for a new career, and getting a new license in real estate, the end of his 42 year career, and the beginning of the new one. Lots of learning - learning a new rhythm, in the house, in working together, in seeing how each day will work now.

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah! 

He makes all things new, all things new!"

When I think of the above lines, I think of 2 Corinthians 5: 17 - "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new." (NKJV)

I love the mental picture that I get, in reading this verse. Coming to Christ, my old self (the part that doesn't line up with His plan for me) dies to make room for the "new".

A good picture of this is the way a deciduous tree goes through a given year. In the fall, the leaves start changing colors from the green of spring/summer life to the oranges, reds, and yellows before they fall off the limbs as the tree's life cycle; but then in spring it comes back. 

As life goes on, sometimes it feels like I'm loosing part of who I am- but in living surrendered to God and His plan, learning to trust that He knows what needs to go to make me a better person and to make me more like what His plan is for me.

"Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

He makes all things new, all things new!

He takes the old me, he takes the old thoughts

And gives a fresh point of view, for me and you

Each day, a promise, each day is fresh, 

Another "new" after each sunset

Come, fresh beginning

and steadfast love that freely is given

The fresh mercies each morning from Heav'n above

As we've passed from the old and into the new

May each day, week and month bring me closer to You

Each day filled with goodness

For that's who God is

Reminding, when needed, of His faithfulness

Then may my soul sing each morning to You

In praise for the night that You saw me through

Then as I head off to bed in the night

May my soul thank you

As I am kept by Your might

Today is new, and the year is new, too

The reminder I needed to keep looking to You

Each moment, each heart beat

Each day, week, and year

Are no longer important

If I choose not to hear

To hear what You're saying

To see the good plan

Your plan for the future

Your plan filled with hope

To trust that your plan brings me out of the old

To walk in the new me you want me to be

To honor your Kingdom, to bring you glory

Father, as I begin 2025, I know that there are things in my life that still need to be made "new". Some of my thoughts, some of my speech patterns and habits, sometimes it feels overwhelming. BUT I know that You have made me new, and I know that Your plans for me are good, and You bring me from the old into the new, every day. Help me to walk as I have learned as I've walked with you, and help me to rejoice in all You have done for me. Amen.