Watch My Heart

I had a lightbulb moment last night. As I was working on something on my computer, I had a movie on in the background. My husband was sitting in his chair reading and all of a sudden what I was hearing from the TV at the time hit me, and it connected with a few things I've read or heard in the last 15 days, or so. (Yes... sometimes it takes a 2" x 4" hitting me over the head for things to connect.) 

I woke up one morning about the middle of this month with a song and the lyrics encouraged my heart that the prodigals are coming back to the Father's house. I prayed, and have continued to do so, as the Lord brings it to my heart. 

But last night, I heard a commercial on the TV and the words were repeated three times in a row, "Come home". THEN I remembered of the movies I've watched in the last 10 days, two or three of them were titled "Time For Them (or Him, or Her- depending on the movie) to Come Home..." Then another commercial came on singing "I'll Be Home For Christmas".

(Photo take from https://churchsetfree.com/2018/01/29/the-prodigal-son/)

So, this morning I picked up the Bible and read Luke 15:11-32. The parable of the Prodigal Son. Many of us have read it repeatedly. Many of us have heard many messages on it. Many of us, at some point in our life may have felt like we were the prodigal. When I read it, the question I felt me asking myself is how will I respond to a prodigal when they come back? 

When the prodigal comes back- the Father runs to meet him. 

When the prodigal comes back- the Father gives him a new robe.

When the prodigal comes back- the Father gives him new shoes.

When the prodigal comes back- the Father gives him a ring.

When the prodigal comes back- the Father gives him a feast.

BUT

When the prodigal comes back- the elder brother pouts.

When the prodigal comes back- the elder brother complains.

When the prodigal comes back- the elder brother won't rejoice.

When the prodigal comes back- the elder brother has a pity party.

(Photo taken from https://www.dreamstime.com/photos-images/pouting.html)

It may seem when they come back to the Father's house that the prodigal is being celebrated, and I may not have felt that while I stayed and they didn't. 

If I do not watch my heart and attitude, this can open the door for jealousy, bitterness and more.

I know there is another parable about the shepherd that looses one of this 100 sheep, and he leaves the 99 to go find the one, and when he finds it he calls everyone to rejoice with him because it is found. (Matthew 18:10-14 & Luke 15:4-7)

I know that Luke 15:7 tells us "...there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance."

The elder brother in this parable tells the Father all the good he has done for the Father, and he isn't corrected on that. The Father simply wants him to rejoice with Him over the brother that came back to life from being dead. 

It seems like a simple concept, and a simple request. However, when I have allowed, and even nurtured, hard feelings, a grudge, or judged someone when they were not in Father's house; when they come home what has been allowed has grown and will keep me from being able to rejoice and celebrate with my Father.

Lord, thank You for the reception You gave me, when I came back to you after running. Thank you for the love You showed me, and for those that celebrated with You over my return. Help me to keep my heart clean from jealousy, bitterness, and any judgmental attitude towards those that are still running. Help me to love with Your love and rejoice with You, over their return. Thank you that they are coming home!!! Amen.

Gratitude and Prayers

 There has been a lot of preparation going on here at my house, for family that came over yesterday to celebrate together. Including my husband and I we had 20 people here, and I loved every moment of it! The day before, my oldest granddaughter came and helped with some of the cooking, and today she and her sister and mother will come to help with decorating for Christmas. Making memories together is SO much fun! 

One of the family often brings a trivia quiz for us to work after we have our meal, and they did again yesterday. The conversation while we are all trying to answer the questions, is so, so much fun. But we did a new thing this year... we took turns going around the group telling something for which we are grateful. Some were thankful for a specific food item we had just enjoyed, others for their family. I could have specified a food- because I do enjoy good food, which we had in overflow yesterday; but I honestly was not able to pick just one thing, so I kind of listed stuff... my family (beginning with my husband and girls, and grands- extending to the sisters-in-love, their husbands, the nieces and nephews, too), friends, and the time we were able to have together yesterday... salvation, knowing God has a plan for MY life, and so much more... 

My heart was filled to overflowing yesterday, to have time (and we were together for about 4 or 5 hours! Yay!) with family, and to have room for us to hang out and be family.

As I was working on some of the clean up, I felt FULL- both from the food, and all the blessings of the day. 

While sitting here this morning, I have the thought of the passage that tells us of the Marriage Supper of the Lamb. Revelation 19:9 "Then he said to me, "Write: 'Blessed are those who are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb'!" And he said to me,"These are the true sayings of God"." This table and mine (pictured above) can't compare... mine is large and will sit about 14 people- but the one for this meal will sit everyone together! I can't even fathom how many people His table will sit. We are told he has gone to prepare a place for us, I wonder if that is just the dwelling place, OR if it includes our place at the table for the feast? 

I've seen the picture of the beautifully set table that fades into the background with settings for many... I found one that is similar online (https://revkevrevelations.wordpress.com/2016/03/10/the-marriage-supper-of-the-lamb-an-earthly-event/) and it seemed to fit similar to what I remember- but not exactly.

I know that for me, yesterday was amazing, and each time we have company sitting at our table, it is a small reminder of what is to come... but I find myself wondering who will be sitting at the table with me? Will there be friends of mine here, that don't make it? Will there be family that doesn't? 

In my gratitude for what is, it also helps me to pray for those that do not yet know and walk with the Lord. It helps me to desire to be a better witness, and example of those that know Him. I want others to see Him and know how much He loves them. I want others to get to know Him, too.

Lord, thank you for the small taste of what it will be like sitting at the Marriage Supper with you and your bride. Thank you for all the promises you have spoken for us, and thank you for all that You have already done!  You are Good, and I lack enough words to express how deeply I am grateful that I get to do life walking with and knowing You. Help me to know you more deeply and help me to walk nearer to You each day. "I want to sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand, lay back against you and breathe, feel your heart beat". 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart! 

Waiting to Burn

 I have been waking up to the same song, a LOT over the last two weeks; and I think I may possibly be starting to connect some dots, as to some of what the Lord may be saying. 

It started with a devotional I listened to, September 21. The devotional speaks to the Baptism of Fire. An encounter with God that truly changes and marks my life, to no longer be the same, and to move in and with the Power of the Spirit. 

Acts 1:8 "But you shall receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you shall be witnesses to Me in Jerusalem, in Judea, and in Samaria, and to the end of the earth." (NKJV)

This verse is often used in speaking of what happens when you are baptized in the Holy Spirit; but it is not the only time Holy Spirit can and will come on you. Encounters with Holy Spirit should be fairly regular, but sometimes they are more intense. And each one works to reveal more of Him in and through me; so I want to be positioned for more of these encounters. But as I was listening to this post, I was reminded of one from just over a year ago. The older devotional had actually stirred me up enough that with some digging, the Lord gave me a message to share. 

In it the author asks, "What will happen when Holy Spirit lights a fresh fire in all the Ekklesias- churches... at the same time?" His answer is a "Super Pentecost, a surging, worldwide Pentecost." He speaks of angels being present to keep the portal to Heaven open. They also, as carriers of His glory-fire, minister that to those they are sent to.

God is offering to visit with a Baptism of Fire. It's a choice, and it cannot be forced or generated by anything I do. However, in deciding that I want it, what do I do to be ready?

1- Choose- "Yes"- it is a decision, as it was for Moses to turn aside to see the burning bush, and as it was for the 120 souls to wait in the upper room. 

2- Be positioned to receive it- Having your quiet time the way you always have, will not bring change.

    Cleanse your heart- repent of sins the Lord shows you

    Fast from what He shows you to leave alone

    Wait on Him- listen for His heart (in the upper room- they waited).

3- ASK- (James 4:2b - "You do not have because you do not ask." NKJV)

4- Worship- This is not just speaking of singing to the Lord. It can be quiet meditation, it can be cleaning Your home. God is looking for worshippers, he doesn't need the worship, He wants Your heart.

5- WAIT- this isn't set the clock for 5 minutes and give up. Be patient, wait on the Lord. Get your heart and mind quiet, concentrate on the Lord and wait for Him. In the waiting on Him, trust that He will come.

These have definite all tied together and then the song I have been hearing so much is by Matt Redman. It's called "Gracefully Broken". The part I keep hearing says this: 

"And find my heart on the altar again, Set me on fire, set me on fire. Here I am, God, arms wide open, Pouring out my life, gracefully broken."

(Both pictures taken from Google)

Father, Thank you for helping me to connect the dots of all You were showing me, and saying to me over the last 3 weeks. I say "Yes, Lord!" I am willing to participate in all You have for me. I ask for the Baptism of Fire! I repent of anything in my life that would stand in the way of my receiving this and moving into what You have for me; and I thank you for helping me to know what I need to let go of that keeps me from being ready for all You have for me. I love you, Lord!

(*Devotions that I took some of the information from are three Give Him 15 posts. 1-June 15, 2022; 2-September 21, 2023, & 3-September 22, 2023.)

Come to Him...

Matthew 11: 28 "Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." 

How many times have I read this verse? 

How many times have I heard someone minister on this?

Both when I have read it, and heard others share on it, the theme seemed to be this... when I am tired, and struggling, come to Jesus and He will help me. Am I the only one that has thought that?

Well, first I want to look at the definitions.

Weary means "1- Having the strength much exhausted by toil or violent exertion; tired; fatigued. 2- Having the patience exhausted, or the mind yielding to discouragement. 3- Causing weariness; tiresome;" (1828 Noah Webster's Dictionary definition)

Heavy laden means "To load up (properly, as a vessel or animal) i.e. (figuratively) to overburden with ceremony (or spiritual anxiety):" (Blue Letter Bible- Strong's Definition)

Have you felt weary? 

Have you felt like the load of responsibilities just keeps getting heavier? 

I know I have felt that way, and I know many that have felt that, too

But first, let's take those feelings and like it says in 1 Peter 5: 7 "Cast all your cares upon Him, for He cares for you."

Lord, I take the feelings of weariness, and burdens that I have, and I throw them at Your feet.

But when I read this verse, this last time the part that hit me was three simple words. "Come to Me..."

Yes, Lord!

When I am tired... Come to Him.

When I am hurting... Come to Him.

When I am overwhelmed... Come to Him.

When I don't see the next step... Come to Him.

But also...

When prayers have been answered... Come to Him

When I feel good... Come to Him.

When it seems I shouldn't bother Him... Come to Him.

At ANY time... Come to Him.

With ANY thing... Come to Him.

                        (pngtree via Google)

God is a good Father. He doesn't just want me to figure things out. He wants me to come to Him. 

If there is something I don't want to take to Him- I either need to release it, and not be part of it OR I need to get my heart right and trust Him with it.

Thank you, Father, for reminding me, and opening my eyes to see more clearly that You truly desire me to come to You. You want me to come to you no matter what I am going through. You are showing me more often how much You desire for me to come to You and spend time with You. 

I choose to come to You each day, in all circumstances. Thank you!!

What Will Your Answer Be?

I was having a conversation with my husband about the fact that everyone is called by God. The most important part of that calling is my relationship with Him. He wants my company, not only to talk to Him, but to be still and listen as He shares with me. That intimacy with God will bear fruit. Fruit takes time.

The definition of "Intimacy" (according to the 1828 Noah Webster dictionary) is: "close familiarity or fellowship; nearness in friendship." Then if you look at the newer Webster dictionary it adds, "familiarity; something of a personal or private nature."

Intimacy... this word often brings up images of  the closeness of a husband and wife. I know I have used it that way, and thought of it that way, but that is not all that word includes. In saying that I am intimate with my  childhood best friend, would be correct; as well as saying that a husband and wife are intimate. 

When I have a best friend, how does the relationship get so strong? We both share everything with each other. The good, the bad, and the ugly- right? I had a few really close friends through most of school. What helped us to be so close? 

We'd hang out at school as much as we could. We would spend the night at each other's homes, we invited to each other to birthday parties, we would talk about just about everything... every tiny little detail. 

BUT it isn't just talk to them, it is listening to them, too. Spending the time with each other means that I may decide to miss other events, or happenings along the way. There were sometimes, when I was young and still at home, my parents may have said I had to miss being with my friend to be with the family, and I am sure there was some pouting involved there; but that would be part of what we'd talk about the next time we were together. 

Isn't this what God wants? 

    God wants me to spend time with Him. 

    God wants me to tell Him about everything, and be willing to listen to His heart- because He loves to share with me, too. But, it may mean that I miss watching my favorite show on TV, or something else a bit more trivial. I have to decide which I value more. 

BUT- God can go with me everywhere I go! I don't have to do things without Him! 

In building this intimate relationship with the Lord, as He shares with me, and it will have fruit. 

What was it like when...

     Adam and Eve walked with God in the cool of the evening. 

     Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord. 

     Abraham was called to leave the land of his father to find a city that God would show him, and is later promised that his seed would be as the stars in the sky. He is promised this, even though his wife is "barren". 

    Joseph was sold by his brothers, to a land far from home and family. 

    David fellowshipped with the Lord, worshipped Him while tending the sheep. 

    Samson was betrayed by his own countrymen to be given over to the enemy.

    Daniel was thrown into the lion's den, and not harmed. 

    Mary was visited by Gabriel and told she was highly favored and would carry and birth the Savior.

Throughout the history of mankind, every single person has been asked this question, "Will you pay the price?" 

This doesn't always mean a dollar amount, per se. 

This can look more like Daniel facing the lion's den, because others were jealous, 

It can look like David being chased by King Saul. 

It can look like Noah while he was building the ark, facing criticism. 

It can look like Samson, when his own people tie him up to give him to the Philistines. 

It can look like Mary, a young Jewish girl that accepts the mission to give birth to Jesus. 

It can look like Paul escaping over a city wall in a basket... but look at the fruit from each of these that decided time with the Lord and following Him was worth it! 

Daniel came through the lion's den and the king made a new proclamation declaring God's goodness. 

Noah saved humanity and animals in the ark.

Samson killed 1,000 Philistines after allowing his own people to tie him up to surrender him to the enemy.

Paul's journey and taught many about the Lord, but also wrote letters giving us much of the New Testament.

Mary surrendered her reputation, knowing she could literally die, and she gave birth to Jesus- the Savior!

There have been many others through the years that have given their "Yes", some have become well known and others have simply lived their life under the radar, making waves in the world that were the result of their decision.

The question is still being asked of me, and of you.

Will you pay the price? 

Will you spend time with the Father, to get to know Him, and gather the seeds that you are meant to sow for the harvest?

Will you surrender your reputation? 

Will you lay down your personal plans, knowing that He only has good for you and for your life?

Will you work with Him to bring forth the fruit  of the seed(s) He planted in the womb of your spirit? OR will you quit and abort what He wants to do with you? 

The fruit that comes from time with Him is not just for me and you. It impacts everyone around us. 

Will I see that fruit? 

Well, I can't give a definite answer to those questions. 

Seeds take time to germinate, and grow. You plant them in the soil where the sun will warm it. You add water, and you wait. 

When I say, "Yes" to the Father, and I spend time with Him, to get to know Him and hear what He would share with me. I am gathering those seeds to share as I walk through each day. (Seeds are meant to be planted, not kept.) Some seeds will germinate and sprout more quickly than others, but the seeds He gives will ALL bring forth.

Remember the peony plant? You plant it and it takes 3 years to flower. Fruit trees grow, but take between 3 and 6 years to bear, depending on the fruit. Just be faithful to share what is given to you, and He will take care of the rest.

Lord, I hear you asking me... Will you pay the price? Will you make time to spend it getting to know me? Will you surrender to MY beautiful destiny for you? Help me to lay down my plans that I may walk in all of what You have called me to. Help me to take the time each day to be with You, to hear Your voice as you share Your heart with me. Help me to be a laid down lover of You; knowing it is all for Your glory! 

Testimonies That Impact Generations

Today, I read the story of Ehud. It's been a while since I have read his story. I heard a podcast recently about him, and decided to read it again, to go over the pieces I remembered from what I had heard, too. His story isn't really long, nor does it have a lot of details, but what I heard stirred up something.

You'll find Ehud's story in Judges 3:12-30. As I read it I am reminded that I have always smiled when I have read it, because it points out that Ehud was left-handed. I am also a lefty, so that somehow makes me like him, even though we've never met. In reading the story, Israel has done evil, again; and they are being ruled by Eglon, king of the Moabites. This causes them to cry out to the Lord and He raises up a Benjamite- Ehud, son of Gera.

So, the children of Israel decide they are going to send tribute to the king, and they have asked Ehud to take it to him. Ehud sees his chance to get in close to the king, and knows there may be a chance to do something, so he makes a dagger. Verse 16 says that the dagger was "double-edged and a cubit in length", and he fastened it under his clothes to his right thigh. A cubit is about 18" in length! 

Why was it fastened to his right thigh? Because he was left-handed. 

Why is that important? Maybe because most people are right-handed, so their weapon is attached on the left side, so maybe it made it easier for him to sneak the weapon in, when he was allowed to go in to present the tribute to king Eglon. (It isn't specified- so that is purely conjecture, and not my own, I heard it on the podcast I was listening to.)

Ehud was probably hoping for a moment where he could use the dagger- but if you read in verse 19, it says "he himself turned back from the stone images that were at Gilgal..." So, maybe he was intimidated; maybe he didn't get close enough; maybe he was too nervous... it doesn't say why he left without using the dagger. It does specify, thought, that he turned back.

I knew Gilgal sounded familiar, so I looked to see what had happened there... Gilgal is where Joshua commanded the people to take stones from the Jordan river, after they had crossed it to the promised land, and they were to make a pillar with the stones as a memorial of what the Lord had done for them. Then, they were to share the story from generation to generation of what God had done for them. 

I don't know why Ehud left King Eglon, but he sees the memorial stones at Gilgal, and is reminded of just how mighty God is. He is reminded that He serves the Great I Am, who is stronger and more powerful the the king, and turns back with renewed determination. He get audience again with King Eglon and he tells him, "I have a secret message for you, O king." (vs 19b). King Eglon sends everyone away, and Ehud strikes him with his dagger, and leaves through the porch closing and locking the doors behind him.

My thoughts went back to the stones he saw at Gilgal. 

Do I think that those mean that picked the stones from the midst of the Jordan River, that God had parted, and they had just crossed, were that important? 

Do I think that the generations that kept retelling the story of how God, the Great I Am, had parted the waters for them to walk through the dry river bed, to the Promised Land, thought it was more than a wonderful story? 

Do I think if I was telling the story that it would have impacted anyone generations later, with how Great God truly is, and that there is no other like Him? I would hope so- but I don't know.

But... it did!

I am reminded of Revelation 19:10b "For the testimony of Jesus is the spirit of prophecy." (NKJV) I have heard it said that a good way to explain this is to say that giving a testimony of, or telling what God has done for you, opens the door for Him to do it again. (Or at least this is how I understood what was said, to mean.)

So the challenge for me? 

How many pillars have I built? Maybe not enough...

(Photo from https://junialeigh.wordpress.com/2010/06/07/the-visual-aid-of-gilgal/) 

What testimonies have I shared of the goodness and faithfulness of God?  

Ehud saw the stones, remembered, turned back, went to the king, and got the victory.

Lord, I am grateful that You never change, that You are a Good Father, and that You are always with me. I am grateful for the testimonies that I have heard from others of Your goodness, faithfulness and all that You have done. Help me to remember to tell of Your goodness and all Your acts- to build those memorials for generations yet to come- that they would hear of, and know that if You have done it before, You can do it again, for them. 

Thank You, Lord.

Overflow

It's been a while... life's been crazy...But God is always good!

I am sitting here this morning, and the verse in the devotional that I am reading is John 7:38. It says, "He who believes in Me [who cleaves to and trusts in and relies on Me] as the Scripture has said, from his innermost being shall flow [continuously] springs and rivers of living water." (AMPC) 

Then it hit me... Do I continuously flow out the streams of living water? Do I?  

I remember hearing someone speak one time about the Lord speaking to him about how he shopped. He did veer from the way most guys shop, in that he knew what he wanted, where it was in the store, and he'd go in, using the most direct route in the store to get the product, pay and leave. The biggest difference was that He did take a moment to pray before he went in, so that He was conscious of the Lord's presence because he wanted to carry that with him. If I remember correctly, the Lord wanted him to be more intentional of sharing Him with others as he went into places, and leaving His presence there, than to be intentional of getting what he needed and getting out quickly. My take-away from listening to it was to be less of a targeted irrigation, and more of a river. (LOL) I know that seems like a drastic difference, but then as you read the passage above again, it says "from his innermost being shall flow (continuously) springs and rivers". 

But how does it start? It starts by telling who has those streams and rivers. The one who "believes in Me" it further describes that as cleaving, trusting, and relying. 

Here are the definitions...

*Cleave: "To glue, adhere, join, to stick". (Romans 12:9)

*Trust: Confidence; a reliance or resting of the mind of the integrity, veracity, justice, friendship or other sound principle of another person. (Proverbs 29:25)

*Rely: To rest on something, as the mind when satisfied of the veracity, integrity or ability of persons, or of the certainty of facts or of evidence; to have confidence in, to trust in, to depend; with on. (2 Chronicles 16:8)

As I look at one more version- the Message says it this way, "Rivers of living water will brim and spill out of the depths of anyone who believes in me this way, just as the Scripture says."

So, as I think of this. Do I trust, rely on, and cleave to, the Lord? Do I, deep down in my spirit? Do I? 

I have never felt like I have been very good at self evaluation. I usually feel that I am sorely lacking, in whatever area I am evaluating. SO, if I ask myself these questions, I know I do... but I would also admit that I have lots of room for growth in these areas.

I love the picture I get in reading the Message translation of it; that the "rivers of living water will brim and spill". It makes me picture myself as a container filled that overflows, instead of a pipe, faucet, or colander; which had been my thoughts on this for some time. However, if you are the colander you don't get the benefits of the water that is poured into you, it only flows through. A container that is filled to overflow is full. 

How is it filled? By being with the Lord, asking Him for the water He gives (John 4:10). After all, the water He gives is the living water. Spending time with Him, holding onto Him, trusting Him and leaning on and relying on Him- these are ways to be filled to overflowing!

Thank You, Lord for the promise of Living Water, and the promise that it can flow from me. Help me to grow in my trust of You, in the depth of my relying on and holding onto You in every season of life. As I grow in my relationship with You, learning who You are and how You are always here for me when I need you, I am filled to the overflow. Help me to slosh and leak everywhere I go, to refresh others with Your love and presence. 

*= definition from the online version of the Noah Webster's dictionary circa 1828

Both pictures from Google